is it my fault for not telling anyone about what i feel?
is that sinful?
is it that i don't even have the right to protect my own self?
you got someone. but do i have anyone?
sorry but i never know why i can become this sensitive,
this stupid for making you hurt.
but me myself hurt as well.
by isolating myself from you,
i hope that i can protect our hearts from being hurt,
or at least yours.
but i can't.
i'm getting hurt with what i am doing.
a fake smile can hide a million tears.
but that fake smile can no longer smile,
coz it can pretend no more.
man, i need time to understand what
exactly is happening.
hope you can understand that.
my heart also has the right to feel at ease.
it's not the matter of making people happy only in this world.
people want to judge based on what they see?
feel very free to do that.
but make sure that your observation and your judgement on me IS RIGHT.
do not simply, blindly jump into conclusion.
congrats and move on.
let me clarify this once again since perhaps you do not know what i feel exactly.
i am not the sort of person that will demand any explanation from anybody.
even though i am dying to know what is really happening,
what has really changed,
what has made me really hurt,
what sort of feeling that i feel on that person,
what ever it is.
i will not ask.
i will not.
if you feel that you have something to tell me,
do tell me.
if you feel that you have to scream at me,
please do so.
this comes from my sincerest, deepest heart.
i am sorry.
things will get better in time,
your heart, anyone's heart and my heart, will be better.
p/s: sorry readers, my blog is not supposed to write craps, but i have my own limit, too.
the limit when my mind can no longer decide logically whether it will hurt anybody or not.
sorry, but that is why i prefer to be silent.
and running away from the reality,
the reality that my heart is wounding.