10 September 2010



may this syawal bring you something.

dunno why,
this syawal brings no excitement to me.
huh. i shouldn't write this but this is what i feel.
i feel loss of something.
someone to be more precise.
i did buy the baju raya, kasut raya, made the biskut raya,
but deep in my heart, i was hoping that ramadhan will never go this quickly.
and that syawal will never come this early.
cause it will remind me of him.
this is the third year we are celebrating raya without him.

you know what,
this year, we are all wearing blue for the first raya.
that reminds me more of you since blue was our last raya outfit when you were still around.
as usual, we will go to the cemetery first to meet you, brother and grandpa .
only then we will go to the grannies' houses.
anyway daddy,
kiki, your three-year-old-naughty-and-mischievous boy,
is going to the cemetery too, well, if mama allowed him to do so.
he got so many raya outfits from his foster mother, from cik dayat and also from cik mil.

i dunno why i get upset very easily nowadays.
even in front of my friends also i cannot control my emotions.
i know that they might feel hurt but they just keep it inside.
they are kind, right daddy?
they helped me a lot to go through my days.
miss you so very badly.
no matter how i miss you, or how i want to meet you,
you are just no longer here with us.
with me.

p/s: iAMstrong. right daddy? :)


aEn said...

yes dear,
you are super strong,

. nurulhidayahbtjuhari . said...

im tears while read this. be strong mydear.
yeah, like what aen said, youre super duper strong.

~binbin~ said...

ain n nurul: thanks, a lot. :)

hak milik kekal dan terpelihara nurfarah wahidah.