17 January 2010


suddenly my heart feel very packed.
filled with piles of feelings.
sad feeling.

in memory~
i think that this is the first time i ever posted my family photo.
i mean this photo.
the last photo.
taken together with my father.
know what?
during that Eid celebration,
he wanted us to take photo together and wanted it to be framed.
i didn't even imagine that was the last photo of us together.
i miss my father..
his absence has taught me to stand on my on feet.
went to school.
buy things.
i learnt to do on my own effort.
it was very hard for me at the beginning.
but i have to do it.
i have to.
i have to.
for my mom.
i should not depend on her anymore.
and that's why i became the new one
i don't cry in front of my family members if they talk about my father.
not even once.
coz if everyone are sad,
who's going to give them strength?
i am willing to do it.
am i bad?
and that feeling continues until now.
keeping everything that i feel.
doesn't matter if all that hurt.
most importantly..
no one will get hurt.

~mohd hamid bin boyadi...may you rest in peace~
my brother..
he used to be very close with my father..
after my fater passed away, he seems to change a bit.
maybe he miss my father..

do your best in study dear...:))
~we all love you~
my little brother..
the one that was born after my father passed away.
he doesn't even make it to meet my father.
but he is smart.
he seems to understand about my father's absence.
everytime my mom asked him where's our father..
he will show the photos that were hanged on the wall.

~may you grow up to be the best that you can dear...:))~
the one with the greatest inner strength
yet got the softest inner heart.
thank you very much for all that you have done for all of us..
you are my greatest mum in the universe...:))
i love you very very much...

my only sister..
the one that my mom can rely on during my absence.
the one in need and indeed.
p/s: for those who have read this post,
no questions are to be asked after this.

hak milik kekal dan terpelihara nurfarah wahidah.